Sometimes a home can appear quite standard from a distance, but a bit of investigation can reveal a real hidden gem. Each week, the Clearcrest Real Estate Guild showcases one marvelous property to entice buyers, and this week’s offering is a real find.
Situated in a seemingly endless field of gluten-free wheat, Ketlias House immediately catches the eye with an almost supernatural sense of familiarity. Something about the place can practically trap a visitor with its remarkable architecture, which starts with a dark, foreboding foyer leading up in a pair of winged staircases to the second floor.
Now, the casual viewer might be fooled into spending the rest of their visit within the ornate smoking room, but seasoned house hunters will eventually find themselves standing before the solarium’s exquisite marble fountain. A small secret passage hidden within the structure’s base leads to more and more fantastic facilities: first, a full ballroom, complete with strollable walls, a large and suspicious chandelier, and what lesser buyers would consider an excessive number of tile-based floor traps.
From here, the viewing continues to a conservatory full of potential. Also full of overgrown plants and plant-like structures, which really just proves that the room works well. In addition to the flora criss-crossing the space, sharp-eyed visitors might also manage to spot casually discarded gemstones scattered across the floor. Don’t worry, those are for anyone to pick up. They aren’t useful in any way for encounters you might have in the House.
Eventually all rooms lead inevitably to the battery room of Ketlias House. The undeniable power center of the abode, this room sports its own set of far more utilitarian staircases, a massive metallic cube, and an angry, sentient magic cloud. This is the titular Ketlias, accidental lord of the manor, whose hospitality is legendary chiefly due to its lack. With little forewarning, this cloud is likely to assault anyone who finds their way into the room.
To further highlight the feature of the room, though, requires some time. Lit by a dazzling array of five colored magic orbs, the battery room offer an incredible level of customization with fully modular interior walls. The cathedral ceilings provide clearance all the way up to dinosaur height, which is excellent news for anyone interested in transitioning the space into a kaiju rumpus room. And finally, a special feature of the room allows for a seamless transition into a mind-dissolving otherspace, complete with atonal humming and fractalized non-euclidean imagery beyond the realm of basic humanoid comprehension.
It’s here the tour ends, unfortunately. Without careful maintenance, the volatile Ketlias does have a tendency to detonate in a swirl of deadly magical energy, so we urge anyone participating in the open house to grab some battery-based souvenirs as they slap their escape bracelet. And be sure to let all of your secret underground prison wizard friends know exactly what an Enchanting find Ketlias House can be!
The Clearcrest Chronicle 