With the turning of a new season, Clearcrest is once again flush with burgeoning entertainment options. There are several theatre productions of note, but the finest choice by far is the double-feature currently running at Golden Cape’s premier stage, the Mystery Assembly Hall. The first, Waiting for Sabre, is an absurdist comedy the easily loosens up a fresh audience. Afterwards, a more substantial tale, The Importance of Being Gusz, provides the suspense and action of an adventure/drama.
The opening scenes of Waiting for Sabre introduce us to a cast of characters desperately attempting to make someone else open their front door, where a stranger is politely knocking. The responsibility is passed from a rumpled red-headed man upstairs to a man apparently missing from the house and eventually landing on the shoulders of a dog-faced gentleman who cautiously answers the knocking. Introducing himself as Madoc–the personal courier of Chancellor Sabre Thornton–the visitor proceeds to invite the household along to a fancy dinner.
This relatively simple invitation is met by what appears to be a household of lunatics. Before accepting the group’s reply and departing, the redhead has confused the courier as to the very reason for his offer, an offer of tea from the “special cup” has been shot down as bad for Madoc’s health, a previously unseen halfling has snuck out of a second floor window to surreptitiously update the logo on the visitor’s hat, and a thoroughly off-put Madoc has been carefully directed on a bizarrely specific and roundabout path the homeowners assure him is the only one he can take to avoid setting off a series of intricate and deadly home security traps.
The scene closes, and the curtain rises once again on an elegant interior the audience is told is Galan’s Gastronomique. In Clearcrest, this restaurant is well-known as a high-class dining establishment, where the wealthy and powerful meet to discuss matters of business and politics. And it’s certainly not the sort of auspicious location we’d wish our guests on. We hear them chattering with the maître d’ about when they’ll be expecting Chancellor Thornton as they’re led to the central table. As they sit, the dog-faced priest inexplicably begins assembling an entire skeleton and rubbing his hands together while declaiming what a magnificent surprise it will be. Opposite him, a tabaxi laps at a bowl of milk and the redhead and halfling earnestly discuss how best to assassinate their host.
Strangely, the rapid accretion of strange behaviors builds and builds to…nothing. And that, we suppose, might be the joke of the whole thing. Chancellor Sabre Thornton never arrives, and through several courses (and a full bottle of Keller’s Single Malt) the party spins up a dreadful series of plans to thwart his imagined assault against their persons. In the end, the group leaves unmolested, with the curtain falling on a peaceful, slowly darkening restaurant.
A short intermission follows, and soon The Importance of Being Gusz begins. A group of adventurers strolling through City Center have a chance meeting with a most unexpected figure. More specifically, they’re met by a sheep fleeing through the streets with a magical scroll clutched in its mouth. After retrieving the scroll, a magic spell enables them to understand the farm animal as it begs for their assistance. Before they’re able to get any details, a massive figure enters from stage left.
A hulking brute of a half-orc with dark brown greasy skin and a large tusk protruding out of one side of his mouth (the other appearing to have been broken off somehow) rushes into the scene with a pair of muscle-bound figures whose features are heavily obscured by excessive clothing. After introducing himself as Gusz and demanding the return the wayward sheep, it looks like a fight will break out in the middle of town. However, the party cleverly tricks Gusz and his toadies as they flee to the safety of Ferroholm with the sheep in tow.
The sheep introduces itself as Finethir Shinebright, a high-elven wizard polymorphed over four years ago by his jealous apprentice Cadric Noke after stealing a powerful magical artifact. He’d finally managed to escape, and desperately wants to confront Noke to regain his form and his property. While the adventurers are willing to help, they’re uninterested in bringing a helpless sheep to a battle and leave Finethir in the care of Cadman Copperfist as they plan their retrieval mission into the Bastion Forest.
The scene closes, and it opens again on a stage dominated by a massive, multi-room treehouse set within the vivid greenery of the Bastion Forest. We see a group of large and armored apes and bears that appear to be patrolling the house. In a bid to avoid confrontation, the adventurers arriving from stage right attempt to persuade the animals (whom they suspect to be yet more victims of Cadric’s itchy polymorphing finger) that they’re simply Clearcrest census takers out to update the population counts of the forest community. Unfortunately, this deception is shortlived as Gusz reveals himself from within the treehouse, and a battle breaks out almost immediately…
In a thrilling display of stage battle, the audience is treated to aerial combat at a cat-monk soars through the air in a series of immense jumps, knocking out grizzlies and apes as he ascends the house proper. The rogue takes down several foes before running up the side of a building the confront their chief antagonist, and the sorcerer manages to enter the home without trouble while his priestly companion summons a skeletal servitor to cover their back. After much back and forth, the party manages to break through Gusz’s defenses and enter the inner sanctum.
The party breach the hideout of the dastardly Cadric Noke from multiple points of ingress, though not before the sorcerer provides an amusing moment of comic relief as his magic accidentally transforms him into a plant before popping back into shape. In much panic, Noke has used the fabled artifact to transform his own bed into a strange facsimile of a dragon. This sheet-and-frame construction is puppeted expertly into a credible threat, with the audience able to feel the weight behind each blow. At times, I got swept up in the action and honestly worried for the health of the dog cleric, who seemed nearly at the brink of death…
Eventually, a bit of magical assistance pulls the polymorphing wand from our villian, followed by a truly awe-inspiring bout of pyrotechnics which result in the “dragon” going up in some quite convincing flames. With the satisfying end a forgone conclusion, the curtain falls on a victorious party, leaving the audience at the peak of the story’s action.
The winter theatre scene is ripe for exploring in Clearcrest this season. Productions both traditional and experimental are scattered widely across the entire city for a range of budgets and tastes, but this paper can at least heartily recommend this exceptional double-feature as having something for every viewer. Be sure to check out Waiting for Sabre and The Importance of Being Gusz at the Mystery Assembly Hall before they end their run.
The Clearcrest Chronicle 