Late last week Delecuir Shipping, Ltd. and a group of dedicated mechanical and magical engineers made travel history. Their underground railroad, christened the “Umbrail”, made its maiden journey from the small mining town of Il-Tavarsham just east of Erast to Tinker Town in only five days. We caught up with the welcoming party in Tinker Town, led by none other than Toradrinn Emberfell–son of Tinker Town’s most celebrated founder Taklinn Emberfell–in a publicity opportunity that’s bound to raise his profile in the upcoming district Chancellorship election. First to debark was a curiously short spokesgoblin wearing striped blue coveralls and a matching short-brimmed cap, sporting a bright red neckerchief and a brighter smile.
Ever the enterprising goblin attempting to outrun the long shadow of his more well-known business partner Fast Eddie (of Dragon Wagon fame), the Umbrail’s chief conductor Peddlegrin began showcasing the vehicle’s features, already discussing ways in which to improve the fine machine: “So, I got ‘dis idea to build a table, right? But here’s the kicka’- we put it on hinges so that it can be pulled down from the wall when needed! I’m gonna call ’em Hinged Collapsible Tables!” As he quickly scurried past us, away from the gathering crowds, a small halfling man in a dashing hat yelled, “Just call it a folding table!” While this interruption put a momentary sour scowl on the goblin’s face, he quickly resumed, “I also had this idea for frozen yoguht! I’mma call it, ‘froyo'”. At this, he took a step back with a wide smile on his face, as if awaiting my reaction. Thankfully, the elemental consultant on the project, Edmund Drooj, walked by and provided an easy escape from the enthusiastic goblin.
After reminding him of our past conversations regarding the mechanical genius of the Umbrail, the arcanist happily stopped to give me a few minutes of his time. “Ah yes, it was quite an eventful maiden journey”. Without further prompting, the man began a full and detailed account in a rich and cultured baritone: “With anxious excitement, we set off from Il-Tavarsham and things went smoothly the first day of our travels. However, given the material used for the rails for this kind of travel, we stumbled upon some small creatures blocking the way as they damaged the structure. Thankfully, our wonderful security escorts were able to dispatch the creatures and return the engine to full speed fairly quickly. While we thought all was well, the following day revealed that some of the creatures had entered the cargo car of our train. Though concerning, our security escorts were once again able to put an end to this issue without even needing to stop the train!” At this, his eyes glazed over briefly and he looked off into the distance, muttering under his breath, “…Although, they essentially turned the cargo car into a giant exhaust fan and almost blew a gnome out the back door…”
Drooj eventually recovered and returned to his story: “They also happened across an illicit substance that we were unaware we were transporting!” When asked if he knew which passenger was suspected of transporting this illicit substance, the wizard could only postulate. “Of course, suspicion immediately fell on a man named Stubbs–a traveling merchant and liaison for the mining company in Il-Tavarsham. However, after a surprising altercation with a tabaxi woman magically disguised as the warforged staff member in charge of keeping the train tidy, we discovered she had snuck onto the train to assault one of the security detail. After neutralizing this threat, the crew determined that the woman was high as a kite on Spore. For her safety and our own, she was locked in her room for the rest of our journey.”
As if on cue, two city guards pulled a tabaxi woman past us. Calico-patterned fur with a black splotch over one eye (giving her the appearance of an eye patch) the prisoner desperately exclaimed, “It’s not me you want! It’s the gnome! He’s a wanted fugitive! And the halfling drugged me!” When the Umbrail let out a sudden burst of steam, she let out a piercing wail and screamed, “All fear the giant metal snake!”
As I spotted Toradrinn Emberfell, I excused myself from Sir Edmund Drooj and floated purposely towards the dwarf. Spotting me, the precise and poised military man politely engaged, “Ah, yes–Miss Wraithwaite, I always have a moment to share great news with the esteemed journalists at the Clearcrest Chronicle.” When asked to comment on the events that took place during the Umbrail’s first trip into the city, the up-and-coming Tinker Town politician stated that, “The community is very excited to see this opportunity made available to the citizens of our great city. I think I speak for all of Tinker Town when I say that we’re proud to host the innovative Clearcrest Umbrail terminal here in our great district!” His tone became somewhat more subdued as he added, “We would also like to extend gracious thanks to the courageous security detail who ensured the Umbrail arrived safely.”
In response to questions regarding the tabaxi woman and her accusation of being framed, Mr. Emberfell made clear that he and the city guard would thoroughly investigate the events that occurred, but declined further comment on any suspected dealings with the wanted criminal known simply as, “Nesbar”. Determined to end on a positive note, he also mentioned that the local government was “very excited about the possibilities this new method of transportation offers the citizens of our great city. As I understand it, the Umbrail’s board of directors is already planning on expanding to other locales. Make sure you keep them in mind when planning your next sojourn outside of the city walls!”
There you have it, kind readers. Excitement and intrigue fill the streets of Tinker Town today for good reason–through the use of technology (and a little bit of magical engineering), we now have the capability to travel thousands of miles in mere days. Opportunity grows and distance shrinks, and the opportunities availed by the Umbrail will surely make more headlines in the months and years to come.
The Clearcrest Chronicle 