Chainlock Keep. The name alone evokes imagery of dreary dungeons, damp cells, and rusting shackles. One can almost hear the screams of agony echoing through long, winding corridors full of dull, grey stone. As most of us will never have the misfortune to venture into it’s depths to experience it first hand, the only way to get a glimpse into this high-security prison is through the incident reports and logs that make their way out of the prison and into The Archives. Read on for a selection of these reports.
Incident Report: XXXVII
Sebis Thull is facing incarceration once more for Seraphinium distribution without proper permits and licensing. As he is no stranger to the cells at Chainlock and an associate of powerful men (such as some of the district chancellors), he has made the proper arrangements to server his time at the lowest level of the prison to be among The First.
Inmate description: Stout dwarven male, brown braided hair, well-kept beard, astonishingly hairy arms.
Incident Report: XLII
Miscreants arrested outside of the Chainlock Keep gates for disorderly conduct. Reports indicate that a well-dressed halfling man stumbled up to the gates, dragging a small group of unconscious individuals on a large horse blanket. The halfling then proceeded to half-shout, half-slur a chronicle of crimes he had supposedly committed. These supposed crimes include assisting in the theft of a priceless magical artifact from a mercenary organization, time travel-based enchanted book loopholes, accepting a contract to kill a man and then not actually killing him, commandeering a boat from rat people and sailing it without registration or proper permits, and occasionally stealing the pants off of unsuspecting citizens.
As he and his associates were obviously under the influence at the time of their arrival at the gates, they were detained temporarily.
Incident Report: LXIX
Assumed to be in dereliction of their duties, two guards have disappeared from duty and failed to show up for their rounds later during their shift. An investigation is currently under way to locate and punish the offenders. More details to follow.
Incident Report: LXXXVIII
Confrontation occurred in dining hall 2 between a halfling and a dragonborn prisoner. Upon being confronted, the halfling man jumped on the table and began screaming obscenities and threats at the dragonborn man in an attempt to defend his choice in seating. The dragonborn man attempted to grab the halfing and throw him to the ground, but the incident was quickly deescalated by guard presence- no physical confrontation occurred.
Inmates involved in the confrontation: Pimric Thorngage, Yepslur
Incident Report: XCVIII
An unfamiliar guardsman reported a bloody nose. With huge disgusting pools of blood all over his collar, but none on his face, he claimed the injury is due to sinus inflammation from mold in the prison. Requested a new uniform from the armory.
Incident Report: CXI
An inventory of cafeteria cutlery recently revealed missing wooden spoons. Investigations underway to determine their whereabouts. Slight concerns over inmates stealing the cutlery to make impromptu weaponry and lock-picking utensils.
Probably unrelated: a number of small, sharp, crudely-carved wooden ducks have been found around the first floor cell block.
Also probably unrelated: the phrase, “what is a duck if not an unintimidating falcon?” was found carved into an adjacent cell wall.
Incident Report: CXXIII
Prisoner property found missing from first floor holding location. Believe that the missing items have been stolen by guardsmen for personal gain. Investigation is currently underway. Low priority.
Well there you have it, folks. While big and scary, it looks like the goings-on in Chainlock aren’t so nefarious after all- missing spoons and stoned halflings. (Sounds more like Tenebris Alley on a Saturday night, am I right?) We still certainly don’t want to spend an evening there though…
The Clearcrest Chronicle 